Category: INNER THOUGHTS

What does this title mean? What is this stance? Is it a stance or is it a shift? Is it possible to attain both?

When you find yourself stagnant this issues signals that there must be momentum to shift. Sometimes the shift is unforeseen, and other times the shift is willed, encouraged or sought after.

In times of still, we must nurture ourselves and invite a growth within even if we may not view this as developing. It is seemingly watering a plant that will grow but yet momentarily we view it as unchanging. We continue to rear and cultivate the soil in the hopes that we sprout a new bloom. This is what should occur when we are stagnant.

Do you find yourself cementing the bonds you have within your close network? Pouring all energy into yourself and the visions you may have? Educating yourself further by researching your passions to support your proposed future endeavours? Or are you simply growing by reflecting on the movements you have previously made, devising a new path, and developing the tools required to navigate the new terrain? Moments of reflection are paramount. They are encouraged. They shape and shift us aiding us on our journey. If we never welcomed a moment of refinement, we would find ourselves hindering our growth. We would be in limbo. Reaching a plateau that may inhibit us to move forward and stretch ourselves out of our comfort zones.

So, is it possible to shift and yet elect stagnation? Well, you tell me!

She’s intuitive.

She’s inquisitive.

She’s intelligent.

She’s introspective.

She instinctively knew what her body, mind, soul and spirit viewed as imperative. She was conscious of her movements, in times loud and clamoring, and in others, stealth and fluid. She meticulously sought personal growth and development in all which encompassed her.

In moments of uncertainty, she confided in her support network. An idle stance was omitted, she yearned for spontaneity. She encouraged others to explore the unknown and assured her support. She did not arrive at her present state unscathed. Yet her ability to navigate through the physical and emotional trials secured her initiative to progress.

Silence, self reflection, and sheer vulnerability assisted in providing a secure and stable mindset. She learned to retreat in moments she felt she was sacrificing self. She persevered through priorities and engaged in still to dismiss burnout. She began to beam in her own accolades of self awareness.

She was selfless but welcomed increased self love. She was strong yet acknowledged weakness, confident yet questioned her confidence, fierce yet meek, motivated yet unmotivated in contending with mundane tasks. She was surprisingly sensitive and unquestionably open. She valued sincere relationships, individuals with genuine interest and depth.

She was she, and she was satisfied.

Silence. I gather this calls for a time of reflection because let’s face it, there’s hardly a moment of silence or a moment of still in our busy lives these days. As a mother of 4 young kids, who runs a small family dance studio, a few IG pages and has a husband that is devoted to the cause of running his own business 7 days a week, moments of reflection seem impossible yet they are of utmost importance. So, now that new linen has been dressed onto each bed, let’s pause for reflection.

I’ve turned the television off, I’ve put the baby to sleep and thankfully the others are at daycare and school today. My hands are free and almost confused from the lack of carry they have become accustomed to. So in their need to hold, grasp, carry, heal or love, I’ve resorted to blogging.

The other day, whilst basking in some much needed adult time, a friend of mine and I visited a local café. Transfixed by the aroma of brewing arabica beans, we savoured each sip of our standard sized lattes. I found myself in continuous fits of laughter, my belly hurt, my eyes watered and I think I encountered an acute stitch, but I thoroughly immersed myself in the moment. I must admit, I was also slightly delirious and very unwell, but this did not excuse my behaviour that seemingly followed such a beautiful morning. I found myself issuing compliments and than completely offering the opposite in the same breath. In my efforts to be humorous, I was also projecting negativity, something I knew I had to grasp.

So I did! I expressed my embarrassment for my behaviour, my unnecessary urge to communicate so ineffectively, and acknowledged it certainly was uncharacteristic of the individual I have now come to fall in love with. Thankfully my beautiful accompaniment exclaimed it was due to my extreme fatigue and shrugged off the indecent behaviour as a once off but this paused for a moment of reflection….a day or two later.

You see, not many individuals (especially males), realise the effects of their unfiltered, unguarded opinions and sentiments. In one breath they acclaim to be encompassing themselves and their kids in a fair environment which is positive, all inclusive, non competitive and harmonious but in the next breath they are completely defaming all that they selectively choose to encompass themselves. Reflection is imperative. A moment of clarity, where you are vulnerable with yourself and ask yourself “are you projecting the person you genuinely want to be?” Now, this may not be of significant interest to some, and you may ascertain being yourself is what is of utmost importance and its others who need to change their reception of you, but if the behaviour emitted is unfavourable, it should be eradicated.

We have grown into a society that finds strain in communicating with individuals directly. In person, we exchange love and  a fleeting moment later we exchange verbal discrepancies via text/email to hide from any assumed conflict or confrontation. We fuel are bodies now with healthy food yet our minds still remain toxic as we promote love and to love all yet we don’t ensure the root of the love is pure and from within. We remove the connection between people by our need to project via technology. In our sheer frustration, we continuously break down those that we love the most. We release negative energy stored and disperse it onto positive individuals which slowly acidifies what was once pure.

No one is perfect. We are all human. But humankind has forgotten humanity. If we hope for future generations to love, feel loved, give love, we have to ensure we are true examples of the word itself.

Feelings of ambivalence transcend me to a realm unknown. Lost or maybe bound in a state of complexity, which results in a foreign stance for my physique. I become fixed to the platform beneath me. Cement forms quickly and confusion strikes repetitively like a vicious summer storm. I am torn between a world of complacency and mundane, monotonous routine, or a magnitude of mammoth risk!

As I peer over the edge of the jetty which inherently confines me, I am taunted, teased, tantalised by the mirage ahead. The enticing waters which glitter at my feet on a steaming hot day, ignite fire and fury to my already tempted state of mind. Each pattern whispers an intricacy unbeknown, and unchartered by my curiosity to directly plunge in. This formulates a state of shock for my impulsive system that thrives on spontaneity, whims, and the desire to seek projects anew.

The desire to test the water could unveil disheartenment, disappointment or despair. What if the infatuation with its glittery surface reveals a tumultuous, unpleasant depth? What if an unbearable chill was provoked or twines lay trapped beneath the clear facade which intertwine my feet?

My yearning to seek, shatter the glass casing which lay in sheets before me begins to cease. I’ve seemingly reached a plateau, a regulated momentum where the urge to accelerate does not exceed the consequence of its actions. Have I become a rational thinker? Has my realistic mindset overthrown my determination for enhanced adrenaline surges? Has my mind developed a state of maturity which dictates the pros and cons of every action, now hindering me from any minuscule or monumental experience? Or have I lost the passion, the plight, to take risks regardless of their outcome?

Thoughts cascade down the motherboard harvested in my head. I stand, momentarily secure on the edge of a platform embraced by an embodiment of crystal clear water yet what lies beneath is unknown. Opportunities continue to travel a natural stream, enticing me to embark on its journey and yet I fear what may generate once I depart the jetty.

For now, I become the observer, the spectator. For now I enjoy studying the stream and all it encompasses. For now I find comfort and security of my new stance. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll take the plunge….I guess there are many discoveries unknown!