Author: Kristin Smith

Hi @staunchkidz Family & Friends, Thank you for visiting our page. Here I will share anything and everything relevant to my journey raising my FIVE K Boyz!! Feel free to comment, like and share my posts. Thank you for stopping by. Kind Regards, Kristin

Don’t Mistake my Silence

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BY KRISTIN SMITH

Don’t mistake my silence, for anything but a moment, a mere perch to observe. A moment for me to establish whether I shift my current stance and redirect my energy elsewhere, or whether I am simply acknowledging where my feet are planted and basking in and welcoming the new view.

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.”
– Ram Dass

Don’t mistake my inner strength, for a moment to judge my outer appearance, or vice versa. My weaknesses are not opportunities for acceptance of less. My weaknesses are a reflection of my own experiences and allow me to reset, re-establish, and rebuild. It is not an invitation to be taken advantage of, unappreciated, or undervalued.

Don’t mistake my imminent downtime, for anything other than much needed self care and recognition of self prioritization and preservation. A moment of less shouldn’t define or measure my relationships with others, it is simply an awareness and ability to listen to my own needs.

Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, this is self explanatory yet requires reiteration. My generosity, my innate action to give, is not to be judged, overlooked, undermined, or shamed. My urge and ability to give, or offer, is my strength and if I have it I will give it, even to my own demise at times. This is not a trait that needs to be altered, yet needs to be nurtured and appreciated.

Don’t mistake my stillness, for a halt in my progression. The train may pull into the station but believe it swiftly exits for the next. A brief interlude is better described as reflection, reconnection and possible redirection. The pause may invite unwanted energies to disembark, or favoured energies to embark. This is the beauty of each day’s blessings.

Don’t mistake the perception that I am predictable. No one is. Each day offered, we are provided an opportunity to grow, develop, flourish, or falter. Each day, we are met with choices which prompt decision making. Each day, we can grasp the reigns presented before us, or simply enjoy being led. A pattern can always be altered. A glitch can disrupt the clearest of paths. Obstacles can shift the most logical route. The beauty of life, is that when offered another day, we get to choose our own paths, our own journey and discover our own destinations. Don’t mistake your path for my own.

Mother’s Day Mini Shoot with Melody Clark @kodocreative

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Making memorable moments with Melody comes with ease, comfort, confidence and is compounded by her expertise in facilitating a personal memoir for all through her lens.

Melody meticulously curates each family session to depict “a day in the life of” those valuable members and their treasured moments. Each session will encapsulate and transpose the dynamic bond between a mother and her offspring. Each capture exposing the special qualities a mother possesses to innately nurture, care for, love and protect her little beings. These glimpses, or snapshots, are simply moments of celebration. They are moments of chaos, clutter, charisma, cloud, creation, and even challenges, combined to portray the divine spectrum of motherhood.

Our session lasted 20mins, and in that time, magic was created. Melody’s expertise and minimal direction provided a natural rhythm and flow. This opened the pathway for natural, unposed, unfiltered images to be created. Melody moved around the room with ease, her camera seemingly dissipating in the background as we danced effortlessly together as a family. We laughed, we sang, we held hands, we smiled, we embraced each other…and in that moment, of simply 20mins, we lost track of time as we bonded together.

We left Melody’s session feeling fulfilled. Our cups full of love and positive energy flowed. The experience was incomparable and invaluable. The images are not only tangible items which can be displayed within our homes, they imprint in our minds and become treasures lasting a lifetime. We are eternally grateful for our session with Melody. Feeling blessed….

Shifting yet elected Stagnation

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What does this title mean? What is this stance? Is it a stance or is it a shift? Is it possible to attain both?

When you find yourself stagnant this issues signals that there must be momentum to shift. Sometimes the shift is unforeseen, and other times the shift is willed, encouraged or sought after.

In times of still, we must nurture ourselves and invite a growth within even if we may not view this as developing. It is seemingly watering a plant that will grow but yet momentarily we view it as unchanging. We continue to rear and cultivate the soil in the hopes that we sprout a new bloom. This is what should occur when we are stagnant.

Do you find yourself cementing the bonds you have within your close network? Pouring all energy into yourself and the visions you may have? Educating yourself further by researching your passions to support your proposed future endeavours? Or are you simply growing by reflecting on the movements you have previously made, devising a new path, and developing the tools required to navigate the new terrain? Moments of reflection are paramount. They are encouraged. They shape and shift us aiding us on our journey. If we never welcomed a moment of refinement, we would find ourselves hindering our growth. We would be in limbo. Reaching a plateau that may inhibit us to move forward and stretch ourselves out of our comfort zones.

So, is it possible to shift and yet elect stagnation? Well, you tell me!

‘A’ Message to my Sons

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Dear beautiful, little humans, I have perfectly created to be imperfect….

Today, I begin an alphabetic journey I would like to share with you. Remember, this is only based on my experience, and I hope that you can grow and walk in your own light, remaining humble yet secure in the choices you make.

A is for ACCOUNTABILITY. You are accountable for your actions and reactions. These may impact or influence others. And, although you are not required to justify your decisions to others, communication, understanding, and patience is imperative for us to work together as a community.

A is for AFFIRMATION. As you grow and develop, I hope you embrace the time to reflect and declare your own affirmations. These are important for balancing your emotions and will encourage positive pathways for you. In the meantime, I will continue to express and showcase my availability to you for emotional support. Remember, we are all individually made beautiful. Our weaknesses, another’s strength and vice versa. Listen closely and continue to discover who you are, and through it all…remember to love yourself.

A is for AWARENESS. Please be aware that YOU matter FIRST! Your well-being must be placed before others. BUT, please be aware that without others, your well-being can never be placed. Be aware of your own journey. Where you are on your journey. Where you plan to go. Accepting any variances in your course. Reflecting on how far you have come; physically, mentally, emotionally, financially and what is important for YOU to feel at peace.

A is for AFFORDABILITY. I am not referring to your financial status, although that may be relevant for you depending on your life choices. When I am referring to affordability, it is important for you to assess what can you afford? What are you willing to release in order to make gains? This can be viewed as your own internal bartering system. What are your core values, and where are you prepared to shift the balance (one of my B words) in order to evoke self progression?

A is for ADVENTURE. When you are adventurous, not necessarily seeking the physical desire to go on an adventure, but when you are open and welcoming to new adventures, you embrace and encourage growth. You must be adventurous, in order to develop. Step out of your comfort zones and explore the world around you. Seek new challenges to overcome. Utilise the easier terrain to re-plan, rejuvenate and navigate future paths. If you become too accustomed to settling in comfort, you omit the opportunity to extend. Learn to find comfort in your discomfort. Adventure await…..

Stay tuned for my FIVE ‘B’ words to help you during your self-development. Simply from a loving mother, to her five beautiful boys.

Stay Little

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I see you, with your gummy smile! A beautiful exchange of appreciation between you and I.

I see you, chattering away to inanimate objects. Exploring your world around you, and it’s boundaries.

I see you, arching your back! Refusing to sit or roll and opting to stand instead.

I see you, mesmerised by the world around you. Watching and processing the objects in view.

I see you, yawning, rubbing your face back and forth against my chest, pulling on your ears. It’s time for sleep my baby.

I see you, drooling profusely and gnawing on your little fists. Soon your gummy smile will be filled with sharp, chomping teeth!

I see you, grabbing everything within your reach. Your hand-eye coordination developing more and more each day.

I hear you, screeching at the top of your lungs. A new day full of surprises and you’re full of energy, conversation and songs to sing!

I hear you, giggling away at the things that fill your soul with happiness. Your world so pure and untainted.

I hear you crying, communicating you are in need. I am right here ready to fulfil those needs.

I hear you chatting away. Telling me all the details of your story and what a beautiful journey you are taking me on.

I hear you, sucking away as you feed. Reassurance that you are content and receiving substance.

I can sit here and watch you all day because one day you’ll be walking out the front door with a family of your own.

I can sit here disregarding time and take in your baby smell because one day your smell will change and my receipt may not be so welcoming.

I can sit here omitting sleep to nurse you, because one day you won’t need me as you develop your independence.

I can hold you in my warm embrace until my arms ache, because I know how fast you’ll be out of them and I’ll be desperate to hold onto you!

I can listen to every sound you make, every story you tell, every giggle shared because I know that these moments will be less frequent as you gain more experience and relationships with others.

But the one thing that can never be replaced, never diminish, never transform, is my unconditional, overly abundant, immeasurable, immense love for you!! You kids are my all, you fill me with pride each and every day. You collectively define life, and I couldn’t think of any others to share it with. I am eternally and sincerely grateful. I am blessed!!

View from Within

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She’s intuitive.

She’s inquisitive.

She’s intelligent.

She’s introspective.

She instinctively knew what her body, mind, soul and spirit viewed as imperative. She was conscious of her movements, in times loud and clamoring, and in others, stealth and fluid. She meticulously sought personal growth and development in all which encompassed her.

In moments of uncertainty, she confided in her support network. An idle stance was omitted, she yearned for spontaneity. She encouraged others to explore the unknown and assured her support. She did not arrive at her present state unscathed. Yet her ability to navigate through the physical and emotional trials secured her initiative to progress.

Silence, self reflection, and sheer vulnerability assisted in providing a secure and stable mindset. She learned to retreat in moments she felt she was sacrificing self. She persevered through priorities and engaged in still to dismiss burnout. She began to beam in her own accolades of self awareness.

She was selfless but welcomed increased self love. She was strong yet acknowledged weakness, confident yet questioned her confidence, fierce yet meek, motivated yet unmotivated in contending with mundane tasks. She was surprisingly sensitive and unquestionably open. She valued sincere relationships, individuals with genuine interest and depth.

She was she, and she was satisfied.

Dear Sons,

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(Part 2)

At present, you are the tender ages of 8, 6, 4 and just shy of 2, but yet I feel prompted to share these key points of advice. Yes, I’m disclosing what I’ve learnt through experience in the hopes you manifest healthy relationships in your, very distant, future years.

I have been procrastinating in delivering this blog, as if it’s the final chapter, disregarding the fact that it’s ONLY Part 2 in my memoirs to you! So here we go, on my conquest to keep you seemingly informed, in my opinion, here’s my suggestions:-

01.
Communication is Key

Talk about every and anything. Nothing should be off limits with the right person. Set goals together, and confide in each other. Transparency is key. Build an unbreakable bond where trust can not be doubted nor questioned. Most importantly ask your partner daily “How are you?” When they answer, listen, and listen intently.

02.
Share the Workload

Share it all. This includes, but is not limited to, the mental, physical, psychological, and financial workloads. Discuss an achievable balance where each partner feels supported and valued. We all inhibit strengths and weaknesses. If we can discuss them, and support each other where needed the relationship will have an indestructible foundation.

03.
Take the Initiative

Don’t wait to be asked or instructed. Open your eyes and view what needs to be done. Actions speak louder than words.

04.
Fill Your Partner’s Cup

In a selfless manner. Yes, that means don’t fill your partner’s cup with things that fill yours. Also, accept that it is impossible to pour from an empty cup – this applies to both parties!

05.
You Both are Priority

Make sure to find time to connect or reconnect it is important. Value your time together.

06.
Accept Responsibility and Accountability

Just like it takes two to tango, it takes two to share in sustaining and maintaining a relationship. Multiple hands create light work.

07.
Love and Laughter are Well Partnered

Make sure there is ample of both!!

08.
Don’t Just Dream…DO!

Verbalising your dreams without exerting effort to make them come true only leads to feelings of disappointment. The world needs more dreamers who do, opposed to dreamers who don’t.

09.
Love Your Family and Friends

They are important. They’ll support you through the peaks and troughs of any relationship. Having separate friendships is also imperative, this increases individual support systems, which are crucial.

10.
It’s OK to Show Emotion

You haven’t lost your masculinity because you’ve shed a tear. However, it is important to dry those tears and carry on. Life’s too short for prolonged sorrow.

11.
Love and Be Loved

Open your heart, both unrestrained and unrestricted, and share it. Even through loss we learn. I hope for an eternal love full of happiness for you all, one in which you feel wholesome and unquestionably secure.

I am certain this list is endless, but here’s a start. Part 2 complete, at least for now!

The Unknown Chapter

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We hail a new year, which invites new beginnings, yet we fear the repercussions of change. We fear the repercussions because we believe we will be condemned for discovering the unknown. Yet we must be ever mindful, that our movements, uncomfortable for others to view, are intended to benefit our families and ourselves. We may feel, we may never reach our destined path, but we can not sit idle in curiosity for fear of the unknown.

Recently, I ended a chapter of my life which I had felt conflicted emotionally for two years. For two years, I questioned my abilities to maintain the professional level of service I knew I was capable of demonstrating, versus the rapid growth of my family and the demands that this entailed. For two years, I poured my heart out to family members across the seas, to friends I knew I could trust, with the torment that I inhibited, all in favour of others. For two years, I compromised my ability to do all and be all for everyone else, leaving my own desires unfulfilled. I created financial distress, I undoubtedly sacrificed a lot in pursuit to continue facilitating a service. This service, a passion I had invested in for decades, yet I still felt torn. I felt displaced and uncertain. This uncertainty had me questioning my passion, a passion which still burns bright, but unfortunately the desire to facilitate a business myself, well that flame has diminished significantly.

Many late nights, many discussions with family and extremely supportive friends, offered me the ability to make an informed decision. Instead of placing others before the needs of my own, something needed to give. I could no longer continue to operate at a loss, a loss of income, a loss of ability to support my home and those beautiful beings inside of the home that needed their mother, their wife. I needed to support myself, emotionally and make physical changes to adapt to this new unknown chapter.

I encourage others to do the same. Those who are unable to stand tall alongside you as you navigate through this ever-changing world, as you grow and develop daily, allow them to travel on a separate path. You will discover your cheerleaders in this world, those that raise you up, those that remain positive through your trials and tribulations, and those that you feel secure in investing your precious heart and soul to. We are constantly reminding others that life is short, life is precious, live your life to the fullest, and yet we dismiss heeding our own advice. There will always be those who strive to bring you down. Negativity and toxic opinions will forever seek to destroy, but this can only succeed if you allow them to pierce your barrier of positivity.

Welcome change, except it, grow from within, for as humans we have an innate desire to progress. Transform your fear of travelling the unknown into an excitement of discovering a new self. So here I go, with the support of many, embarking on my new unknown chapter and grasping each day as it comes.

Reflection….

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Silence. I gather this calls for a time of reflection because let’s face it, there’s hardly a moment of silence or a moment of still in our busy lives these days. As a mother of 4 young kids, who runs a small family dance studio, a few IG pages and has a husband that is devoted to the cause of running his own business 7 days a week, moments of reflection seem impossible yet they are of utmost importance. So, now that new linen has been dressed onto each bed, let’s pause for reflection.

I’ve turned the television off, I’ve put the baby to sleep and thankfully the others are at daycare and school today. My hands are free and almost confused from the lack of carry they have become accustomed to. So in their need to hold, grasp, carry, heal or love, I’ve resorted to blogging.

The other day, whilst basking in some much needed adult time, a friend of mine and I visited a local café. Transfixed by the aroma of brewing arabica beans, we savoured each sip of our standard sized lattes. I found myself in continuous fits of laughter, my belly hurt, my eyes watered and I think I encountered an acute stitch, but I thoroughly immersed myself in the moment. I must admit, I was also slightly delirious and very unwell, but this did not excuse my behaviour that seemingly followed such a beautiful morning. I found myself issuing compliments and than completely offering the opposite in the same breath. In my efforts to be humorous, I was also projecting negativity, something I knew I had to grasp.

So I did! I expressed my embarrassment for my behaviour, my unnecessary urge to communicate so ineffectively, and acknowledged it certainly was uncharacteristic of the individual I have now come to fall in love with. Thankfully my beautiful accompaniment exclaimed it was due to my extreme fatigue and shrugged off the indecent behaviour as a once off but this paused for a moment of reflection….a day or two later.

You see, not many individuals (especially males), realise the effects of their unfiltered, unguarded opinions and sentiments. In one breath they acclaim to be encompassing themselves and their kids in a fair environment which is positive, all inclusive, non competitive and harmonious but in the next breath they are completely defaming all that they selectively choose to encompass themselves. Reflection is imperative. A moment of clarity, where you are vulnerable with yourself and ask yourself “are you projecting the person you genuinely want to be?” Now, this may not be of significant interest to some, and you may ascertain being yourself is what is of utmost importance and its others who need to change their reception of you, but if the behaviour emitted is unfavourable, it should be eradicated.

We have grown into a society that finds strain in communicating with individuals directly. In person, we exchange love and  a fleeting moment later we exchange verbal discrepancies via text/email to hide from any assumed conflict or confrontation. We fuel are bodies now with healthy food yet our minds still remain toxic as we promote love and to love all yet we don’t ensure the root of the love is pure and from within. We remove the connection between people by our need to project via technology. In our sheer frustration, we continuously break down those that we love the most. We release negative energy stored and disperse it onto positive individuals which slowly acidifies what was once pure.

No one is perfect. We are all human. But humankind has forgotten humanity. If we hope for future generations to love, feel loved, give love, we have to ensure we are true examples of the word itself.

H E R

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This is a must watch and something a little different to my usual blog posts. It certainly took much longer to create – 4 days in total although the script 5mins to create at midnight.

This piece was created and inspired by the many women who have shared their daily lives with me and of course based on my own experience as well. It is imperative we take the time to understand each other, and most importantly love each other enough to reach out and support one another.

Please enjoy the following video by clicking this link – HER Submit your comments below, it would be greatly appreciated.