Where do I begin? I guess there is no designated starting point, there’s simply the acknowledgment to where we are today and perhaps the exchange and recollection as to how we reached this destination. 

My journey today, gosh even whilst typing this I feel so self indulged and absorbed, but truly I must reflect and analyse from my own experience or the likes of others experiences which have influenced me. So…back to today, I felt a shift in my attitude this morning, even though I woke to the same mundane routine of…to be frank, exhaustion. Every morning it’s the same thing, hubby feels valiant for his efforts in waking when the boys do, and yet as I lay in bed, no progress has transpired in the hour he has been up with them. I emerge from the room barking orders, get dressed, eat breakfast (of oats I’ve dashed in the microwave), as I hustle together lunch, fill water bottles, grab nappies, cot sheets, ask kids to brush teeth, change nappies all in order for 3 minis to miraculously depart the house. And before you ask, yes I am grateful for the lie in, it is very much appreciated.

Hubby willingly took the littlest two to daycare/kindy while I swiftly dropped the eldest to school and the alluring aroma of Maccas coffee beckoned me and I complied to its calling. I was full of beans this morning as I assisted my great friend with her business. After feeling productive for the morning I bought myself some self care supplies, hahahah just makeup and vitamins and ventured home for 10 minutes of meditation. Honestly, if you would have asked me to participate in a form of meditation (I’ve typed mediation twice that’s how foreign the idea is to me) prior to this year, I would have thought that’s for “hippy hippy free loves” but somehow, today presented the opportunity for me to try. The sun was shining on this winters day and I pulled a towel out onto the driveway, searched 10 minutes of meditation music on YouTube and away I went administering deep breaths into the belly. Now I’m not sure if it was the mini nap, absorption of vitamin d into my skin or the deep breathing but it was just what my soul needed, even though I was possibly in a caffeine high! I was highly productive at home and even though daycare contacted me to collect the 3rd (which clearly meant I had to take the middle as well) and I had to find cover for my class with less than an hours notice, I still felt so positive for the day. Exhaustion did kick in and when hubby arrived at 8:30pm I truly wanted to hibernate in a cocoon in bed but mustered more energy and here we are at 12:30am and I’m on here.

It’s amazing how quickly things shift. I knew I wasn’t feeling 100% and I am still unsure as to why I was stuck but now, now I feel replenished and it seems to have derived from no true point at all. It has however offered a lot of clarity which I’ll share over a few posts soon.

The resounding point, although it doesn’t seem I have provided one, is to take time out for yourself. Us mothers neglect ourselves and place ourselves last, we feel overworked and underpaid, unappreciated and sometimes unloved. I am however certain that I am in control of my emotions and my ability to rise and circumnavigate through situations. I am aware that I AM IMPORTANT and in order for me to be the super mum I have unintentionally portrayed, I must self maintain. So today, this is Day 1, and today I put me first so that my sons have a happy mum for as long as I am here.