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All of you were created amongst varying circumstances, somewhat a shift in my emotional stance, yet I loved you from the very first moment I knew you were blossoming inside of me. Some test reveals were harder to digest than others, but intuition steamed ahead and prevailed. Through each setback and challenge my instincts formulated the beautiful bond harvested between my minis and me!

Many are curious when they spot the tribe and myself at a glance or from afar. Already, they have begun composing their own logic of understanding for what settles their misguided judgement. Many are also in awe and fascinated with the attributes naturally bestowed upon the trio, whilst half mini continues to bask in the glory and wonder of my womb. Few take a moment to question me on my kid’s origin, husband’s nationality, or genetic combination. But all are silenced when I divulge! You see, there is no way you could preconceive the who, what, where, when and why theory with my family, but you can accept, acknowledge and appreciate the diversity, the love and the openness we have manifested and continue to share. Each child has been a resident of my womb, and each child has aided me in my own growth, health, wellbeing and emotional stability yet instability.

Kayden, the eldest who fascinates everyone he meets with his intricate perception on life and all that encompasses this life. A child who portrays himself to be so self consumed and self absorbed yet is the first to offer assistance, acknowledge you, embrace a total stranger, exchange a cuddle and a kiss for absolutely nothing in return, yet generates a sentiment of perplexity at the progress of so many of his individual skill sets. He questions everything, and monotonously repeats himself even after you’ve acknowledged the request or statement. He doesn’t harvest a competitive nature and is content in allowing others to shine although resents not being rewarded for his absence in effort – figures assistants deserve to be fully compensated as well. A child who dances to the beat of his own drum, music, or even lack thereof! He is easily frustrated with the demands of today’s societal requirements and would much prefer to formulate his own daily desires. He was placed on this earth to widen my perspective, develop my need for patience and intrigue all those interested in sparing more then a fleeting moment to meet him.

I’ll return to Middle #1 and skip to Knox. Knox inhabits a very likeable personality. A typical boy who is easily pleased. He can entertain himself for hours building tracks for trains, cars, bikes and buses and only surfaces for food, water or sleep. Sounds like music to a parent’s ears am I correct? He looks intently into another’s eyes, is curious about everything and aspires to learn at the same pace as his older brothers. His emotional maturity for his age astounds me. He articulates his every feeling whether he is scared, shy, happy, sad, hungry, thirsty, tired and doesn’t hesitate to state what he desires. He is disappointed within himself if he can not reach the same milestones as his brothers even after receiving reassurance that he is a mere 2 and a half year old toddler. A mastiff in a terrier’s body! He screams out his frustrations loud and clear and doesn’t back down unless a better offer is generated. He is thoughtful, caring, shares well, charismatic and extremely entertaining and funny!! In his learning environment, educators confess their sheer love and compassion for Knox. They are amused by his personality, his yearning for physical contentment (cuddles and kisses) and his entertainment value!

Now my dear Kael, he is our observer. He is spiritual, he is charming, he is astute, he is athletic, he is captivating, and he is intriguing. Kael displays a very calm manner, and is content is various circumstances and scenarios. Some days he offers a million stories and others he would prefer to dive into his own realm of silence and observation. Today, as we sat and composed music, we had a moment of silence, Kael turned to me and said, “Mummy, you are beautiful.” I, of course, acknowledged the generous compliment which was followed by “I love this house the best. This house is warm. It makes me feel the happiest. I love my bed. My brothers. I love everyone in my family!” He creates so many heartfelt moments that totally enrich the soul. I believe his openness with his emotions paired with the intensity of his eye contact have you impaired completely. You are yielded by his intoxicating and debilitating charm! He has left me speechless countless times and I feel completely immersed in the love that surrounds his vocabulary. Kayden possesses this same ability. He lacks the strength to generate the eye contact to sustain the delivery but he is very affectionate, preferring to provide a physical fill instead of verbal.

I suppose my connections with the three are strengthened or weakened depending on what contributions assist in my cup running over, but collectively each child provides an abundance of energy, contentment, honesty, and love within our home. As we draw nearer to welcoming baby boy #4, and I grasp onto the bond between the three tighter, I feel as if they are already bidding for more attention. They are aware that there will be another shift in the dynamics and the time must once again be divided, but I assure them there is an abundance of love to envelop them all. I may only possess two arms, but I’ve also been blessed with 3 and a half minis! My cup runneth over….

She carried me amongst her womb and just shy of full term I deemed it necessary to be present in this world! I was a sly 6lbs 3oz and suffered with a bout of jaundice at birth being premature, but I was born to a family full of love and an absence of father figures.

Residing with my maternal grandmother, I instinctively felt connected and nurtured by a woman that was the matriarch of our family. A woman devoted to ensuring the families needs were met, who raised us in the church, who had the strength of an army and worked 4 jobs, who never seemed to have a bad day, who protected all those she loved and who befriended a stranger in passing too easily. All this displayed by one woman led by her faith in God and her love for all. She too was a woman succeeding and achieving with the absence of a husband and father to her four daughters.

While my mother worked 2 jobs to support herself through university in Canada, I was supported by my grandmother, aunts, cousins as well as neighbours, friends, educators and others invested in my growth and development over the elementary years. My mother offered me the opportunity to attend elementary school for a year, at the age of 7 I believe, at St Frances Xavier in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Here is where I learned to speak French fluently. The experiences I gained in Canada were extremely influential and beneficial to my individual growth and development as I was able to continue my love for gymnastics as well as explore new social settings and experiences.

After returning to Bermuda, I began private instruction in French and continued to participate in gymnastics. I commenced dance at the age of 12 which is where my love for the art began and I also attended a top ranked private high school. At this time, my mother had married my step father which created the “nuclear family” and we welcomed my little brother and my step brother as well. Being raised mainly be my grandmother, I found this new family structure quite challenging and although I had a love for my very caring step father, I missed the attention to detail and stability I had become accustomed to for the previous 12 years of my life.

Family life was busy and honestly I don’t remember much of the time we would have had together as a family between two working parents, school, my social life and dance. A realm I had undoubtedly created which was purely self centred at this time I am sure – I must confer with my mom on this. Dance was my daily life. I spent every evening, and my weekends stuck creating, composing and learning on the dance floor.

During my fundamental years of growth, I had had women shape and curve my experiences. I had been encouraged to be ambitious, set goals, strive to better myself, engage in positive relationships, and most importantly to love! I had been offered the tools to become successful as a hardworking, independent woman but my mother also feared this strength may also be a family weakness. We had been built to withstand any challenge yet we had not been taught to acknowledge and accept someone else who could quite possibly assist in our growth, accept and support our weaknesses and carry us if we fall because we were taught to pick ourselves up. We had not been taught to soften.

I’ve read many articles in my 36, almost 37 years of existence, indicating the effects of being raised by a single parent and I can confirm that I have never felt isolated, victimised, at a loss, or hindered in any way. My relationships with males and females have not been impaired due to the family module I was presented from birth, they were experiences I developed and encountered due to my own personal preference and experimentation. This does not mean I have not been impacted negatively, many may believe lacking a male role model in your daily life has huge effects on the relationships encountered in the adult or teen years. I ascertained my relationships early on were quite typical of a teenager but again I must confer with my mother. I do not believe I was ever raised in a broken home, in fact, I feel the complete opposite. My home was exuding love, understanding, trust, honesty and a sheer respect for all of our needs within the family.

So many individuals break their own spirits, live unfulfilled, unhappy and loveless lives to maintain this “nuclear family” appeal, yet the toxicity in the home becomes so detrimental to all within the four walls and even beyond. A family is made up of individuals who provide love and support for all within the family no matter its makeup. Most believe my blended family now has that fairytale, happy ever after ending, as I’m married to a beautiful and supportive man but in all honesty, we always had a beautiful tale, we just now have another amazing character added to the script. The tale continues on…

We awaken to the busy sounds of kids playing, screaming, shouting, clanking, dishes clattering and cupboards opening. The eldest demanding his dietary needs, the middle asking politely and the current youngest fending for himself. The television is turned on and they are quiet as they are filling their wee mouths. I gather my heavily pregnant self together, depart my inviting bed, hop…well stumble into the shower, throw on whatever is deemed clean and fits, and face the brood awaiting my mighty roar. The television is switched off, kids haven’t actually consumed more than one mouthful in the 30mins they’ve been graced with a meal and I am already bellowing out to them “Chop chop it’s school today. Eat your breakfast, let’s go!”

I switch on the laptop to dissolve the silence with the soothing accompaniment of nana and great aunt in Bermuda as our favourite playlist shuffles on repeat. Gospel music truly does fulfil you spiritually, it also calms the dynamic energy in our household. The kettle boils in the background. I scrounge up the boys lunches as they complete their breakfast, brush teeth, dress for school, make their beds (if still undressed from waking), fill water bottles and pack their bags ready to take on the scholastic needs for the day!

Of course the school drop off is always fun. The joy of the infamous traffic in the carpark accompanied by the 8 mile hike where each child requires assistance into their classroom. Each day I ensure each kid increases their own responsibility of what is required before entering the classroom so they are equipped with hopefully managing this routine on their own. Independence is key right? And so is letting go for my own sanity! I venture off back to the carpark…did I mention I’m carrying the toddler the entire way? Sometimes I’m smart enough to get Dad to drop him to daycare so I am only required for one school drop off….another letting go issue or maybe it’s control – I’m getting much better!

It’s home time and let’s not jump for joy! I walk in, there’s a dirt trail from the entry throughout the house, there’s dishes from our morning meal strewn across the counter, on the floor, crumbs everywhere for insects to have their own spread! The laundry basket seems to never empty and there’s clean clothes needing to be folded and packed away because let’s face it I did three loads and left them on the line for days evading this exact moment! I’m tripping over train tracks, sliding on cars and let’s not talk about the unpleasant LEGO! There’s dinner prep, there’s emails to attend to, dance accounts to view, music to cut, choreography to be done, o and I really could use a nap!! Did I mention I only have two days a week in which I am child free? I have show and tells to prepare for, usually sourcing photos and getting printing done, not to mention ensuring schedules are gazed over. O, I think I should eat something before I pass out!

Before you know it it’s 2:30pm, and I push it to the last minute! School pickup time. The dreaded time of course. I live a close 5 mins drive from the school yet I don’t get home until 3:20pm! The park, the 8 mile hike again, the collection, the dawdling eldest child, the carpark lineup to depart school. I’m exhausted typing this! After school we have swimming, or daycare pickup, or I teach a dance class and have to take all three, or taekwondo, or dance class for the middle and on top of that homework!! The rocket words, the sight words, the testing of the alphabet, the dreaded readers, the library books, the prep for show and tell, the tracing, the covering, the spelling, if there were 48hrs in a day this might be a little bit more achievable!! I know I didn’t throw in dinner, but it’s in there, and so are their showers and teeth brushing and prayers and nana and great aunt in Bermuda serenading them again.

Than right on 7pm, like music to my ears, not a minute after and if it is ooooooo watch out, because it’s bedtime. I lie on the floor of the two youngest’s room and help them off to sleep. Not sure how my presence soothes them but it does. I stay for an hour most nights, unless I have something urgent to tend to. This time is precious, it goes from a lot of talking from the eldest to sheer silence from them all. Than hubby comes home, he and I have dinner and the television becomes our white noise.

I can hear my bed calling me! I heed its call. Sometimes I prep myself for a good ole movie in bed, instead it’s the usual social media digest and than my Rain Rain App to satisfy my sleep need. My head falls deep into the contours of my pillow. The sheets encompass me and I invite sleep in. Some nights one of the three sneak into bed with me, most nights I waken to use the loo #pregnancystruggles, but most nights I get much needed rest! I savour these moments as soon the sleep will be disturbed numerous times by a newborn who knows nothing about schedules or time. A newborn that has no understanding of day or night. A newborn that knows what it needs and only settles when these needs have been met.

So right now…right now I’m savouring the chaos! I savour the schedules, the pulling to and fro! The highs, the lows, and all the in betweens!! Soon we will be graced with a new leader and it’ll be the smallest one in the home!

Your mind drifts off into the physical element of catch and release. You imagine a ball being tossed in the air and a hand stretched forth to catch it. Did you burrow deeper? Did you visualise a scenario in your past or present life that may mirror such a gripping title/phrase?

I’ll pitch a few scenarios to provide clarity on the appeal of the title. First up….friendships! As per many relationships, some friendships require more investments than others. Some merely exist for the purpose of entitlement or benefit, these friendships may either fade depending on personal growth or diminish over time. There are also friendships that require daily nourishment in order for both parties, or one, to feel nourished, sometimes leaving one party feeling depleted and the other fulfilled. There are friendships that are similar to cactus and survive the longest droughts without requiring a drop of nourishment to sustain even the most turbulent changes in weather. In the above circumstances, how have you felt given the title being ‘Catch & Release’? If you had to, for your own mental well-being, release any of the above examples of friendships/relationships, how would you feel?

In many cases, the demise of friendships or relationships occur due to an individual feeling uncertain, insecure, abandoned, used, a shift in the balance, varied opinions on values or morals, or simply a lack of love and attention. Now, previous generations would address the issue in person, whereas today’s society simply eradicate the individuals out of their social settings, interactions, etc yet this provides no real or genuine closure but simply places a lid on a clear jar!

Individuals shudder to receive face to face ‘confrontation’, text msgs, phone calls, emails fearing responses which may cause disruption to their mental stability instead of being open to embracing the experience and allowing themselves to learn, cope and sustain what is needing to be vented. Not dismissing anxiety as a disorder, as we all face levels of anxiety whether mild or extreme, but we have now evaded the basic level of response, ownership, acceptance, opportunity to counteract, dismiss or even agree with another’s opinion. So many have become completely sensitive that society now panders to these behaviours instead of providing a gentle reminder of the basic elements of survival – we all have to eat and we all can be fairly primal.

Let’s shift the attention and limelight and place it onto our kids. We grasp them close, not realising in some instances we haven’t allowed them the ability to stand firmly on solid ground. We have infact impaired their ability to walk. We are reminded that time does not stand still. We are constantly in a state of rush that we believe any given moment we must cling onto for in the blink of an eye these kids will become adults and we will be faced with the gloom of a barren nest. Yet, in our own disguised selfishness, we have not provided our kids with the opportunity to swim, to engage, to soar high, to drown, to fail, or to rise again. We have hindered them from many experiences which can only be self taught. In our over abundance of love for our kids we have been blinded by the developing demise of our pure intentions which have manifested into enabling our kids to inevitably fail at the basic requirement to survive.

Let’s now look inwards at ourselves and the relationships we have with ourselves. For many generations we were guided or instructed to follow a profession that provided wealth in monetary form. We were encouraged to seek success in the fields of medicine, science, accounting and law to appease what our parents denoted would bring us financial security and stability. Then, there was a shift in this thought process, as through experience those who entered into these fields without heart felt the remuneration could not satisfy their mental well-being or provide them with sustenance, security or stability. Those rolling in an abundance of cashflow, were never emotionally satisfied, they yearned for more, gambling their financial wealth away, cementing poor investments, losing sight to the importance of life. So we had a switch in outlook and we were advised to lead with our hearts, to release previous mindsets, reset, and develop and invest in our passions. We were reassured that following our hearts would fill a void no amount of cash would be able to suffice. Did this help? Or did we have to release the new age idea of following our hearts and passions as well as we couldn’t sustain a lifestyle which seemed fitting to us?

In many circumstances the phrase ‘catch and release’ pertains to relationships (friends, family, acquaintances, etc) and other situations have been quite personal and are battles we house within ourselves. I believe sometimes an extension in the grasp is required not necessarily a release but, in some special cases it is healthy to also release. Depending on the scenario, a little love, nourishment, pruning and understanding can revive, replenish and revitalise all which is seemingly lost. Value those that you catch, and if you choose to release, make sure you are satisfied with the decision. In some cases, you may need to retrieve the ball and simply try again!

What is the best Mum?

Where can she be found?

When is she available?

Why is she the best?

How can I be the best?

I’m not! I’m not a superwoman, I’m not a superhero! I don’t deserve a badge for birthing all three kids naturally and immersed in water. I’m not deserving of any accolades even though my achievements continue to mount. I breastfed each child whilst managing to run a dance studio. I’ve stood strong and supported two out of three as they embark on their journey into BIG school. We strive to fulfil the commitments we have made to our extracurricular activities in the afternoons and I continue to teach in studio whilst being heavily pregnant with baby boy #4! Yet, I am not superior to another mother, I am a surviving parent!

I have triumphed through the challenges of being a single parent through each pregnancy! I wear the worry lines on my forehead well, proving that many times I have failed! I have a million stretch marks that embody my tummy and although I may cover them, I am secretly proud I was able to nurture 4 tiny humans inside of me. I am a realist not a dreamer but that doesn’t mean dreamers are not worthy! If I dreamt more, maybe I could achieve more. I adore romance, yet I selected a husband far from it! I thrive on challenge and will usually find my hands are in more ventures than I can successfully complete. But I am not afraid to falter or fail!

I am 100% available for my kids. I have made a promise to them and more importantly myself that I am their protector. I will offer myself to be emotionally, psychologically, physically spiritually and financially available as best I can! I am not always able to provide them with what they want, but they will never go without the essentials they need. They will come home to a place they can call home. A home full of love, gospel music, dancing, shouting, laughing, crying and simply an abundance of warmth even on the hardest days. They will understand boundaries, even though they may continue to test them. They will respect the household, each other, themselves and most importantly me! They will learn to depend on themselves, to do for themselves, to be self sufficient and independent yet they will understand that I am always available! I am a mother. I am the matriarch of this family not because a crown was placed upon my head but because I chose to encompass the role. I don’t desire control, I desire to be taught and to teach. I know where to invest and direct my energy and I know when to retain it as well.

I’ve questioned many of my own practices, I’ve battled my own opinions, I’ve almost tortured myself with my own thoughts at how I might be better but I am aware that I am also human. I apologise, I take ownership of my mistakes, I humble myself when I am frustrated and react irrationally without forethought.

There is no better mother. She doesn’t exist. There is the career orientated mother, the SAHM mother, the organic mother, the mother seeking refuge from insanity, there’s the supported mother, the mother seeking support, there are many variations, yet we are all mothers. The only ideal mother is the loving mother.

I have my flaws, failures and shortfalls and if I’m due to wear a badge….I will wear them. Without failure I have no room to grow, develop, achieve or succeed! Life is a journey, and I choose to take my children on the ride with me!

Whether you’re patiently waiting your turn in the torturous queues at the shops, or channeling your inner Beyoncé whilst enduring the usual travel home by car, nothing is more infuriating than invasion of personal space!!

For those seeking remedial action, unfortunately neglected in its usual receipt during the fundamental years of societal etiquette, it is common law/knowledge to provide a person with personal space…sometimes referred to as ‘2-feet of personal space.’ This shouldn’t be taken literally and should be provided with a surplus of additional unoccupied space. Now many may state the issue lies with the individual requiring the space in the first place, stating they in fact have a phobia or another dysfunctional attribute, but let’s eradicate this radical theory! Majority rules, and everyone requires, desires and simply needs personal space. This allows free flow of thought, breath, extension of limbs and simply the ability to exhibit freedom of movement without the restriction of invading someone else’s space or your movement being impaired due to someone existing in close proximity. Eliminate what is unnecessary!

Honestly, although I may type in jest, I’ve had my own instances where my personal space and family space has been astonishingly (yet should be unsurprisingly) compromised without any duty of care or respect being offered! I have been left flabbergasted at the lengths some individuals have demonstrated without constraint, restraint or thought for their actions or impacts on others, let alone those they deem to love. I presume love has us doing crazy things and if these impulsive whims mean we lose focus on what is in someone else’s best interest, we should seek a level-headed, and objective view from a trustworthy source.

O the riddles continue you may be thinking. O how this writer constantly leaves us bemused, yet intrigued to define the levels of detail! Well I suppose you better strap in for the ride…the journey of us has only begun and each chapter I’ll hopefully unveil or simply reveal more!!

Eyes slow to waken, body hesitates to move, it’s a new day and yet an old routine has commenced once again. The bane of schedules, the loss of time, the unsettling sense of urgency, cheers to the new academic year!

I grasped onto the fleeting moments over summer with the boys! Basked in every precious emotion whether it provided feelings of contentment or significant frustration. Now the rigours of hustling to get two boys off to school and a toddler off to kindy have become a shock to the nervous system.

Surely I should have anticipated these feelings. I should have been fully prepared, and although I embrace the challenges and the urgency I still have resentment for the holidays coming to a swift end. You see, I’ve been savouring moments before we add the new addition to our family and now I feel robbed of time, precious quality time!

And here presents the good cop, bad cop! In this household, I’m certainly deemed the bad cop! I’m the nagging, repetitive, law enforcer in the house. I’m preventing the boys from simply doing what they want day in and day out. The daily regime:- wake up, make your bed, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, get dressed, pack your bag, hasn’t lost its charm as I grow tired of my own bellow and yet the reoccurrence hasn’t developed its muscle memory in the soldiers as yet!

I feel like a slave driver, asking they behave accordingly in public, in a business establishment, when addressing others, when having to complete tasks they may dislike, I’m exasperated at the pitch of my own instruction.

We participate in our extracurricular activities after school which consume 3 out of our 5 weekday evenings. I’ve made numerous requests for appropriate behaviour while I teach at the studio, knowing these kids may just want to be in the comfort of their own home. Than bedtime protocol commences:- wash hands, dinner, shower, story and bed! We all find solace in the prayers and cuddles before bed and are comforted by Nana in Bermuda’s gospel music at night. The sound of her voice soothes the soul and her presence radiates throughout the home even though she is oceans and shores away!

I pine for the day time seemingly stands still, there is a pause in the systematic routine and we can refresh and recharge. I yearn for holidays, for a moment just to clasp their hands and embrace them for an abundance of time uninterrupted by others or activities! I welcome the silence, the tranquility and the peace and reject the current state of affairs where routine requires discipline, commitment, hard work and reiteration.

I desire to be the good cop solely and loathe being the bad cop! If only I could guide my boys efficiently and effectively with song! I believe a composition is required as any new technique is preferred to the toll of being a lone rogue bad cop!!

As I listen to the children bellow out my husband’s name whilst he attempts to walk through the front door of our home, I am simply, and utterly…content. A moment of recollection whilst I end out my days of my fourth pregnancy, and reflect on my husband who without requiring prompting, has consumed the energetic void that I have been lacking with the boys. I was the mum that was constantly gallivanting the land, discovering hidden spots for my boys to just be little boys, who would scour the beaches’ shores daily, and who was seeking the next adventure for the kids. This parent seems to have retreated to a realm unbeknownst to me this pregnancy. How do I feel? Frustrated, disappointed, yearning to be the mother I once was, yet I know my strength and energy is required for nurturing and developing this human inside of me.

As we approach our 1st Year Wedding Anniversary, which is Monday, I reflect on our relationship and how much we have grown over the year. How I have learned to concede, acknowledge and respect that we are in a relationship, raising these young boys collectively and I am no longer maintaining this workload on my own. This has been my hardest mountain to climb and descend. There is no question to my endurance and strength when it is required. Every situation, or card I am dealt, I have been able to show resilience and a capacity to overcome what many define impossible. I have simply learned to survive regarding the circumstance and that horizons always present a positive or silver lining.

My husband, he is my rock. He is my confidante. He is my saviour. My mother instilled a foundation in me that I could never shun or disregard, it has provided me with the breath to reflect, perceive and receive, dismissing judgement and embracing variation. My husband, the calm amongst any parallel shift, who is certainly far from perfect, like myself, yet constantly seeks to affirm I am his number one. I am his Kristin Smith. His wife. The mother of his, soon to be, four boys. He admires me for all that I do, for my failures and my successes. He never asks for more, he is content in who I am and is excited for who I may become.

During my time of distress, frustration, hurt, and dismay, he has been my constant. He has resurrected me and allowed me to stand. Without uttering many words, he has provided me with the extra strength I have needed to feel confident, to feel strength, to stand firm in my beliefs. I can not provide or present him with more gratitude. As I nurture this baby inside of me, I am delighted in knowing that I have the best father for this child and these children. This man who is willing to give his all, yet develop himself, in order to provide, fend, support and complete his family.

So as we approach our first year anniversary, I have nothing else to report. I can simply reflect and recognise that the man I have in my life, is the man that has completed me. He has completed this family and he has been selfless in all of his intentions. I am forever and truly grateful to call him my husband and although I may not have taken his surname, I carry him as he carries me.

The rain poured down profusely on our surfari tent, built to weather any storm really, and the muddled sounds of the gate shuddering to the bathroom door seemed etched in the distance thanks to our infamous Rain Rain app! My newfound sleeping arrangements had been a success and the kids and I woke refreshed and victorious. It was the dawn of a new day, the livestock sang at our doorstep, bush turkeys snapped the branches beneath their feet, it was a glorious day! The kettle simmered in the background, the toaster churning out toast in military procession as if to feed an army ready to embark in battle and I was simply basking in the grandeur’s of a great night sleep!

Hubby was the last to wake, yet simply the first to leave after his spot of coffee, a bite of toast and some watermelon and he was off to kickstart his day at work. The kids and I dressed to hit the pool and than a kilometre drive to find solace in the calmness of the waves hitting the shoreline on the beach. As we imprinted our footprints in the sand along the shoreline, tracing the tyre marks, viewing the magnificent blue jellyfish that had been washed ashore, collected various shells along the path and were captivated by the parasailers who soar high above us, I felt humbled. Today was a good day and I felt the steady inflow and outflow of breath from my chest, maybe it was the ocean’s breeze, maybe it was reminiscent of being home in Bermuda, maybe it was knowing we had the beach seemingly to ourselves, maybe the magic of silence that is rarely exchanged, but it was a harmonious moment.

The boys enjoyed being thrown amongst the waves, running up against their sheer strength, jumping heights they had never soared to surpass them and watching their toes and feet sink amongst the depths of the sand. They sat by the shore digging, and making, threw frisbees, enjoyed snacks and simply bonding with each other and myself. All was well….until departure. The eldest had his usual outburst because if he could choose he would reside at the beach (wouldn’t we all?), the youngest couldn’t bear the battle, the struggle, the task of walking the long tainted path back, even though it was his footprints still etched in the sand amongst the tyre tracks. I did, however, manage to have all boys walk back on their own after much encouragement on my behalf.

A quick drive to the local shops found us watermelon, coconut water, ginger beer and much needed sustenance….food!! Food never tasted so divine at that instinct moment. The hot chips coated in chicken salt, the BLT, the ham and cheese croissant all to share, seemed to be truly appreciated by all. After lunch we venture back to the pool and than back to the tent where the boys took their scooters again for a venture and Knox passed out on the couch. Today had been a sheer success.

Hubby tried to regain faith in his dinner abilities and bought home pizza that night, yes it was a success and enjoyed by all. Since I had mastered the sleep arrangements the night before I sought to recreate that moment, not getting my hopes up for fear of disappointment, but I was optimistic another night of unbroken sleep was achievable. It certainly was!

The next day it was a repeat of the morning prior yet I chose to commence packing everything away. As hubby prepared himself quickly for a fast escape to work, I had the boys riding their scooters and spending time with their holiday friends prior to departure while I packed away our contents and said goodbye to #3 Surfari tent. Upon departure the boys had another dip in the pool and than we made the journey home…quickly back to reality and pining for our next escape away!!

And just like that, we are thrust back into reality. Now I’m sure your inquisitive minds wondered how the rest of our “glamping” trip petered out? Well, let’s quickly divulge.

Following doomsday 1, Day 2 could only inevitably possess something slightly more enchanting, enthralling, enlightening and well it simply had to provide more sustenance than the preceding day…right? It certainly did! As hubby enjoyed his cozy snooze on a blanket and pillows strewn on the floor, I brewed us coffee and whipped up some toast to kickstart the morning. I was ready to seize the day, considering there was literally adventure at our footsteps, why not? As hubby woke from his peaceful slumber, I dressed the boys for an early morning dip in the pool. It was so nice and peaceful watching the boys swim from my perch on the lounge chair!

After a brief stint in the pool, hubby left for work and I invited Cam down with Millie to embrace our ‘glamping’ experience. Now Cam may have found humour in our apparently luxurious tent kitted out with a kitchen, fluorescent lights, numerous power sources and TV, but nevertheless she provided some relief and Adult stimulation for me during the morning to early afternoon as Day 2 was already flying miles ahead of Day 1’s adventures. As Cam bid us adieu I allowed the boys free reign of the holiday park to meet new friends and ride their scooters. Sounds like a perfect day, until Kael ventured out of sight and I had to send Kayden to retrieve him which led me into a lovely holiday lecture about advising me of their whereabouts and than issuing a hard warning. Now back to our peace and tranquility, minus the impending interlude, all seemed to go quite smoothly. In the evening, we watched movies, and I downloaded the Rain Rain app instructed by Cam to have an undisturbed sleep. I pushed the queen size bed up against the bunk and asked the boys to share and sleep horizontal on the bottom bunk as Knox would sleep on the inside of the queen size bed and I on the outside. This would eliminate any fears of one of my minis deciding planking the floor in the middle of the night was a better option than their bed. All was fine in the #3 Surfari Tent….until…

Hubby had promised the boys dinner, time ticked slowly as 6, 7 even 8pm rolled by. Now hubby had previously asked what we should have and I advised just to grab maccas on the way down (yes good ole healthy McDonalds)! I prompted him to get 3 chicken nugget Happy Meals (each containing 3 nuggets), each with an apple juice and myself well I’d go for a Big Mac this time! Well, when hubby arrived at 8:20pm he presents one Happy Meal box and a brown paper bag! Knox dives in and snatches the box but my other two stand bewildered, their little eyes gleaming at Knox wondering how, where, why? I could see every thought process that riddled their mind as I was just as perplexed. Hubby than says “o I thought it was all in the same box. Boys how about you share a Big Mac”. Now I don’t really know many 4 and 6 year old boys or girls that would voluntarily select a burger they can’t even hold, over the ‘tantalising’ delight of maccas highly processed nuggets and sentimental toy but if you do know of these kids…good on em! My kids on the other hand were disappointed. I couldn’t face or wear their disappointment much longer as I painfully watched my hubby floundering around flabbergasted at what to do next and than proceed to just sit down as if defeated. So what does a Mum do? Well, what any other Mum would do. I told the boys let’s go for a drive, and we drove the 20mins to a McDonald’s at a service centre and the 20mins back! Needless-to-say, I wasn’t happy as Larry, but I was happy knowing my boys would get the same offering as their littlest brother and didn’t have to miss out!

Once dinner was over I allowed the boys to finish watching an episode of one of their favourite shows in bed, switched on the Rain Rain app on the iPad, turned the volume up, ensured hubby was kitted out with his blankets and pillows for his floor perch and off to la-la land I ventured.

Ok, so if you’ve made it this far, you are a champ and I am grateful for your investment. I am also going to save you further reading of who knows how long and continue this, well, possibly tomorrow! Let’s face it, reality has kicked back in, I’m home, I’m rundown, the kids are being themselves and I’m running for my bed for reprieve!!