Today is the 3rd of January 2018, and as most of you are navigating your ultimate success for your derived New Year’s Resolution, the rest of us are plodding along as if, well….as if the clock chiming midnight on the 31st of December was just another anticipated night of the good ole looming, sleep deprivation!

So I believe you are questioning whether or not I had infact thought of some profound resolution, seeings as which the remedial ‘stop drinking’, ‘join the gym’, ‘new diet’ or ‘live life to its fullest’ and wait for it ‘be positive and pay it forward’ schemes were filling fast….side note the market for these have been fully saturated for approximately 3yrs now….but nevertheless, NO! My simple task for 2018 is to continue to establish my family, placing us at the forefront of all decisions annnnnnnd developing respect, responsibility, refreshment (courses not snacks), and rest and rejuvenation for myself and kids. Ok, let me be honest, my main short term goal though, as let’s face it, the prior dreams are far fetched and something not quite within my grasp, but my short term goal….is to potty train Knox.

This should be a breeze right? The 2yr old dude has had the opportunity to spectate not only his dad but 2 seemingly older brothers who house the same genitalia as him for 2 whole years….so this should be as easy as inhaling and exhaling for the intelligent toddler he is…right? Well, to put it frankly, it’s NOT! The eldest was 4.5 when he finally understood that huge circle fixed to the floor that flushed was infact a great hiding place for his excretions, the middle man established this the day before his 3rd birthday and has rarely had an accident since….typical of the child that mostly resembles myself…sadly I’m still training the eldest at 6!! Now my dearest toddler, I can no longer refer to you as the baby, so middle man number 2, you should have gathered this new skill like a duck discovers swimming in water….and yet in contrast, you are a hippo to water. You can wade, walk or gallop with the idea of utilising the beautiful facility manufactured to consume your excrements, yet you have no inherent ability thus far to instinctively understand on your own accord. For instance, the past 3 days I’ve enjoyed transferring the good ole numbers twos from your new undies into the toilet, followed by the sheer joy of washing them out. Today, I was pleasantly surprised with a double feature…number twos in the undies and one outside on the outdoor pergola by the inflatable pool…how thoughtful of you! I have also had the joy of slipping on your urine in my third trimester stage of pregnancy to add to the excitement of the day! Some might determine you simply aren’t ready, I beg to differ, you understand once sitting on the throne it’s usage just you need to adapt the signals from your body to then run and embrace the throne for which these excrements can depart your body peacefully!

Outside of coping with my lovely middle man numero deux, I also have the pleasure of confirming if the others (especially the eldest) must relieve themselves throughout the day! I’ve battled the endless stream/downpour of Niagara Falls….paid courtesy of the eldest’s mouth who feels entitled, owed, and somewhat superior to me. Let’s just say room visits were almost in double digits today for him. Yet my middle who receives lectures via the eldest learns miraculously at the speed of light in comparison.

So…Dear Jan 2018, with all your hype and preconceptions for the year, I have one request, if you please. Please, allow for tomorrow to be a day of mini success, please let today’s battles and discussions be worth gold in weight to my minis, and let me rise to a smoother, less exasperating, less reserved energy required, and let’s spend moments learning, sharing, laughing and loving each other!

If not, I’m taking my sister’s advice…eldest you are sleeping outside with the roaches and wildlife until you show some gratitude for those around you and the roof placed over your head and toddler you are off to kindy with a pack of undies full time to have them assist you in your newfound training!!

Over and out day 3 of 2018!!