As I listen to the children bellow out my husband’s name whilst he attempts to walk through the front door of our home, I am simply, and utterly…content. A moment of recollection whilst I end out my days of my fourth pregnancy, and reflect on my husband who without requiring prompting, has consumed the energetic void that I have been lacking with the boys. I was the mum that was constantly gallivanting the land, discovering hidden spots for my boys to just be little boys, who would scour the beaches’ shores daily, and who was seeking the next adventure for the kids. This parent seems to have retreated to a realm unbeknownst to me this pregnancy. How do I feel? Frustrated, disappointed, yearning to be the mother I once was, yet I know my strength and energy is required for nurturing and developing this human inside of me.

As we approach our 1st Year Wedding Anniversary, which is Monday, I reflect on our relationship and how much we have grown over the year. How I have learned to concede, acknowledge and respect that we are in a relationship, raising these young boys collectively and I am no longer maintaining this workload on my own. This has been my hardest mountain to climb and descend. There is no question to my endurance and strength when it is required. Every situation, or card I am dealt, I have been able to show resilience and a capacity to overcome what many define impossible. I have simply learned to survive regarding the circumstance and that horizons always present a positive or silver lining.

My husband, he is my rock. He is my confidante. He is my saviour. My mother instilled a foundation in me that I could never shun or disregard, it has provided me with the breath to reflect, perceive and receive, dismissing judgement and embracing variation. My husband, the calm amongst any parallel shift, who is certainly far from perfect, like myself, yet constantly seeks to affirm I am his number one. I am his Kristin Smith. His wife. The mother of his, soon to be, four boys. He admires me for all that I do, for my failures and my successes. He never asks for more, he is content in who I am and is excited for who I may become.

During my time of distress, frustration, hurt, and dismay, he has been my constant. He has resurrected me and allowed me to stand. Without uttering many words, he has provided me with the extra strength I have needed to feel confident, to feel strength, to stand firm in my beliefs. I can not provide or present him with more gratitude. As I nurture this baby inside of me, I am delighted in knowing that I have the best father for this child and these children. This man who is willing to give his all, yet develop himself, in order to provide, fend, support and complete his family.

So as we approach our first year anniversary, I have nothing else to report. I can simply reflect and recognise that the man I have in my life, is the man that has completed me. He has completed this family and he has been selfless in all of his intentions. I am forever and truly grateful to call him my husband and although I may not have taken his surname, I carry him as he carries me.