What is the best Mum?

Where can she be found?

When is she available?

Why is she the best?

How can I be the best?

I’m not! I’m not a superwoman, I’m not a superhero! I don’t deserve a badge for birthing all three kids naturally and immersed in water. I’m not deserving of any accolades even though my achievements continue to mount. I breastfed each child whilst managing to run a dance studio. I’ve stood strong and supported two out of three as they embark on their journey into BIG school. We strive to fulfil the commitments we have made to our extracurricular activities in the afternoons and I continue to teach in studio whilst being heavily pregnant with baby boy #4! Yet, I am not superior to another mother, I am a surviving parent!

I have triumphed through the challenges of being a single parent through each pregnancy! I wear the worry lines on my forehead well, proving that many times I have failed! I have a million stretch marks that embody my tummy and although I may cover them, I am secretly proud I was able to nurture 4 tiny humans inside of me. I am a realist not a dreamer but that doesn’t mean dreamers are not worthy! If I dreamt more, maybe I could achieve more. I adore romance, yet I selected a husband far from it! I thrive on challenge and will usually find my hands are in more ventures than I can successfully complete. But I am not afraid to falter or fail!

I am 100% available for my kids. I have made a promise to them and more importantly myself that I am their protector. I will offer myself to be emotionally, psychologically, physically spiritually and financially available as best I can! I am not always able to provide them with what they want, but they will never go without the essentials they need. They will come home to a place they can call home. A home full of love, gospel music, dancing, shouting, laughing, crying and simply an abundance of warmth even on the hardest days. They will understand boundaries, even though they may continue to test them. They will respect the household, each other, themselves and most importantly me! They will learn to depend on themselves, to do for themselves, to be self sufficient and independent yet they will understand that I am always available! I am a mother. I am the matriarch of this family not because a crown was placed upon my head but because I chose to encompass the role. I don’t desire control, I desire to be taught and to teach. I know where to invest and direct my energy and I know when to retain it as well.

I’ve questioned many of my own practices, I’ve battled my own opinions, I’ve almost tortured myself with my own thoughts at how I might be better but I am aware that I am also human. I apologise, I take ownership of my mistakes, I humble myself when I am frustrated and react irrationally without forethought.

There is no better mother. She doesn’t exist. There is the career orientated mother, the SAHM mother, the organic mother, the mother seeking refuge from insanity, there’s the supported mother, the mother seeking support, there are many variations, yet we are all mothers. The only ideal mother is the loving mother.

I have my flaws, failures and shortfalls and if I’m due to wear a badge….I will wear them. Without failure I have no room to grow, develop, achieve or succeed! Life is a journey, and I choose to take my children on the ride with me!